Home.

When I first got back I couldn't believe how green Latvia is. Then the people proved to be different. Then everything seemed to be different. It's not. The culture-shock I've experienced during the past few days has been greater than I expected, but suddenly my life seems to be back where it was. There is only this gap. Maybe it's not even there, because when I see my friends, it feels like I've only been away for a week. But there is this.. learning, I'd say. It keeps on going. Every minute I figure out a way how to apply the things I've learned during my semester in New Zealand to my life in Northern hemisphere.

Today I stepped over the doorstep of.. being in Latvia, I guess. I just took my scooter for a little ride. Maneuvering in the streets of Riga, being surrounded by cars, avoiding holes and puddles of oil felt like a very realistic computer game, only better.

Life's good!

This is the last time I post something while I'm actually in New Zealand. It's another beautiful day. 8 o'clock in the morning, sun is shining, frost has covered the ground, almost as white as snow. I remember the first time I looked out of my window. Despite the sun melting frost from neighbors' roofs and the few naked trees, it's the same, or is it? I think something's different at this side of the window. As the day picks up, it will be about 10-12 degrees, and the strong sun will make it seem like there's summer all over the planet at once. I'll always remember the locals saying what a bad winter it's been, with a smile on my face, of course.

The good-byes? Not so much! I'd like to think of it as ''see you later'', and that doesn't sound to bad.. well, the bucket of tears I've cried in the last few days would tell you different, but that's a part of it. What an awesome time it's been, bros. [hahahaa] I'll miss having the whole New Zealand around and look forward to coming back.

The blog hasn't been that much, I know, but I've meant it!

One last thing, which actually is my hesitation to pack- in this great jazz book I started to read.. Louis Armstrong has said ''If you have to ask, you'll never know.'' And somehow to me it relates to the ''why?''question I've been asked a million times. I don't mind, because every time I try to find an answer to why I'm here, I come up with another advantage that I've gotten out of it.

& that's just fantastic, aye?

www.afs.org

I'm leaving this Sunday.

As the time has come near the ''end'' I've just been trying to grab as much of New Zealand as possible, living in the moment, since that very moment is all you really have. Past is past and will always be unless there is a Doctor Who person (who thanks to my sister I mention a lot these days). Future? Excitingly unknown!

This morning felt wrong. We even went to school 10 minutes early, which for us is a major breakthrough. Classes seemed to be lasting for ever, except for the BBC movie on human evolution which I quite enjoyed. Still there seems to be something missing in the whole monkey-ape-human development, if that indeed is the right word.

After school I enjoyed autumn as I never have. We, that is me, my sister and our friend, were hanging out at the park. The Queen Elizabeth park. Such a beautiful place at this time of the year. I didn't want that to be the last time for us to hang out, but what can you do, I'm leaving just too soon. If a potential AFS student reads this, please, consider staying for a year as it is worth it, as far as I know, unless you have a very good set of reasons not to. I had mine. Still have, and I'm happy about my choice. The short time I've had here, especially the wonderful moments in the past few weeks have made me appreciate this time even more. The coin, as it usually tends to, has two sides. & as my New Zealand-grand-father said, the inconvenience in life is that you just can't be in two places at the same time. Don't you just love the lessons of life?

This evening was the saying good-bye event for AFS as well. There is just no comment about that. Didn't know it was going to be so hard and I still can't pull all the bits and bobs of my thoughts together, but I guess I'l have the trillion hour flight for that.

Meanwhile, GO PARAGUAY!!! you know.. soccer..

It's still going good!

No, I still don't remember the specific thing I meant, but I must say - that book has been a great source of entertainment and ideas for the last 2 weeks, to me, anyway. [Has it been that long?]

My host grandparents say that they are just getting used to me and I'm leaving so soon. That's just one of the moments when life seems.. shorter or longer (? depends, really) than it actually is. Like today, we went to the local vineyard for lunch and I enjoyed it so much. Half of the time, I think, I was staring somewhere between the autumn leaves outside the window and the same colour, same sense of nature, only much more concentrated, much more obvious, in a glass of rosé at the opposite side of our table. Or am I the only one who thinks that it's more obvious?

Open discussion.

What a long day I've had. I woke up just after 6 am and went for a morning walk (just wanted to see what it's like, cause other people seem to be enjoying that kind of thing) and it was great. Even though this was one of the coldest mornings we've had here, I had a warm feeling afterwards. I had a couple of hours to prepare my speech for an armchair travel group. I was flattered, since at first they thought of me as a New Zealander, and being dressed in my school uniform, I can't blame them. Very enjoyable not have the imaginary ''foreigner'' sign on my forehead. Apparently, I have lost the though North European accent and sound a bit American even. For that I always blame the movies. Well, on the other hand it is nice to be treated as a visitor and someone special.

Most of the people were in their advanced time of life and didn't know anything about my country. I tried create a positive impression and be informative at the same time. Because of their general interest in general aspects of general things had I lot of questions to answer, and that certainly made matters easier.

Now, this has nothing to do with that lovely group of people, but I have come across some situations when I just want to smile and wave. It goes like this:

-Hello!

-Hi!

-Where are you from?

-Latvia!

-Ohh...... mm... yeah! [Now, if this was a fairy tale, their eyes would turn into question marks, despite the unconvincingly nodding head]

(..) few minutes of conversation; and if it's about traveling I ask:

-Do you know where my country is?

-Yeah... It's just there.. you know.. that part of the world... aahh.. yeah!

or

-Where are you from?

-Europe!

(I find it easier)

I'm not surprised, it is a small country. Just funny how these conversations some times turn out. 'N' so I started talking and an hour was gone before I knew it.

Today I started reading ''Open'', an autobiography by Andre Agassi, THE tennis player. Finally I have found a like-mined fellow who sees the tennis match as mental work-out, if I could say so, having read only 17 pages.

''Life will throw everything but the kitchen sink in your path, and then it will throw the kitchen sink.''

I don't remember the exact words but then he went on about something quite interesting, and I don't really remember what it was about (sounds like the ''where are you from'' dialogue, eh?), but when I do I'll let you know.

This weekend turned out to be really good. I got a sudden call and found out that my friend from Paraguay is in town. We ended up going to a cafe in the park; very enjoyable this time of a year (autumn), and saw a movie afterwards, 2 rather. And today we took her out for a walk around the lake, that at this time is full of ducks, since that is the only place where duck shooting season hasn't started and never will, hopefully.

Yesterday, early in the morning (early for me, anyway) my host dad took me to the farmers market. Now, I don't get what I like about that place, really, but there is something.. Good place to get organically grown vegetables, fruit, fresh fish, fresh ''German'' bread from a Swiss guy and meet the locals (in my host parents case). The peach season has ended, so I didn't find it exciting AS. We met this couple that were selling fish cakes - lovely and very chatty (people, not cakes). They had matching blue-checked collars, aprons and tablecloths and seemed generally extraordinarily happy.

This evening I'll be working on my English research report.

Yeah, good luck!